I Thought God Was Punishing Me

March 14, 2026
1h 8m
7,765 views
Inspiration for the Nation is the weekly Jewish podcast from Living Lchaim, hosted by Yaakov Langer. Bari Mitzmann (Barianna) grew up in typical frum setting but life took a giant turn. Hear her powerful journey through religious anxiety, panic attacks, and a crisis of faith while growing up in the Orthodox Jewish world. From the outside she looked inspiring - building a social media following, leading communities, and encouraging others in their Jewish faith and observance. But behind the scenes she was living in constant fear that God was punishing her. In this raw conversation, Bari opens up about scrupulosity, mental health in Judaism, fear-based religion, therapy, and rebuilding a healthy relationship with Hashem. This episode explores how faith, mental health, and personal growth intersect and how honest conversations can help people struggling silently. MORE FROM THE GUEST Get her book here: https://menuchapublishers.com/products/hakol-bseder Her IG: https://www.instagram.com/barianna ✬ SPONSORS OF THE EPISODE ✬ ► Kosher.Com: The Best Jewish Food in the World Get free access to the biggest collection of kosher recipes, anywhere. Get your free Pesach Cookbook today! → https://kosher.com/inspire ► Wheels To Lease: #1 Car Company  For over 35 years, Wheels To Lease has offered stress-free car buying with upfront pricing, no hidden fees, and door-to-door delivery.  → CALL/TEXT: 718-871-8715  → EMAIL: inspire@wheelstolease.com → WEB: https://bit.ly/41lnzYU → WHATSAPP: https://wa.link/0w46ce ► BitBean: Smart Custom Software Built for You Yaakov here. Just make the call. They can help you. Reach Out Here → https://bitbean.link/MeEBlY ► Keeping It Kosher Podcast Join the OU Kosher team as they explore the world of kosher like you’ve never seen before! Listen & Subscribe here: → https://go.ou.org/RUlik7O _____________________________________ ✬ IN MEMORY OF ✬  This episode is in memory of:  • Miram Sarah bas Yaakov Moshe  • Shimon Dovid ben Yaakov Shloima  #iftn  Lchaim.  #jewishpodcast #israel #jewish #mentalhealth #anxiety #struggle #socialmedia